When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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