so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
