he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
