Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
