Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
