So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
