Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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