Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
