btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
