For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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