Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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