How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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