Already got asked if we're dating
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
