Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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