I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
