i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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