Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
