after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
