I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
