i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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