Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
