There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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