Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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