You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
