I'm lost and stupid without you.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
