dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
