i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
