He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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