Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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