3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
