I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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