the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
