Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
