ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
