And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
