I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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