How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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