I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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