but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
