Taylor Swift is so right about you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
