I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
