I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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