Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
