I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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