The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
