At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
