Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I need a beard to bite.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
