Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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