His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
