I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
